Concerned that too many of the nation's young summer interns are fat tubs of goo, former President Bill Clinton announced today that the country's biggest beverage companies have agreed to stop selling sugary soft drinks and other high calorie beverages in schools.

But shareholders fear not. The beverage companies will find other ways to make lots of money off the captive audience of kiddie customers - namely by selling water, healthy fruit juices, and lowfat milk. High school kids still can buy diet soda.

The Chalkboard seriously thinks this is all a great idea, not only because it has the potential to improve the health of many students, but also because it removes one more excuse from the list of why our schools aren't getting the job done for kids academically.